Back in February I was inspired to make shaded circle drawings because of an experience I had with a family member in the hospital. Due to current circumstances I am revisiting the shaded circle. In February I wrote this about my shaded circle drawings but never posted it online:
When I first saw him in the hospital bed, I couldn’t hold it together. He looked so small and fragile, so weak, like I’d never seen him before. But on the particular occasion that inspired these drawings, although he was still in the same condition, he was larger than life. He thought he was going to die. We all were gathered around him. We each went up and spoke to him, quietly, one at a time. In that moment nothing else existed. Life and death and time and everything was contained within him. Despite his physical weakness there was nothing more real, more true, more solid than him at that moment. He was the center.
Later in the family lounge, I started drawing some shaded oblong shapes. These not only represented the experience for me but were also meditative to draw, connecting my mind and body and bringing me back into myself after that intense and surreal experience.
Now he’s home, still recovering, and now I am coming at the shaded circle in a different hospital situation, and from a different perspective within the family. This time, the shape is not as fully formed, the edge not as defined. I may be within the circle as well, or at least closer to its edge: it is not as separated from me. I cannot make as much sense of it, because I am too close to it. Its air, its aura, is not as clear from my perspective.
More to come.